Wishes for my peaceful mind

Jason Mraz, a world famous singer-songwriter, asks a question in his song, “How old is your soul?”. To be a better person, we need to keep developing our mind everyday. There are some worries in my mind that I keep thinking about. If I had three wishes for my peaceful mind, I would wish these : getting rid of the self conscious mind, living in the present, and finding myself.

I have been a pretty much self conscious person since the very first moment of my childhood that I remember. I grew up under the fear of social judgment. I measured myself by others judgment. Later on, I realized that all the fear of judgments was just my imagination in my mind, and by the imagination, I limited myself. Now days, I try to resist its fear and I feel better than before, but still there is a long distance between the understanding and the practice. Being free from others’ opinions is the first step to have a peace of mind.

I’m often overwhelmed by the fear for my future. It’s followed by a series of questions. What will I have become after 10 years, or 20 years later? How should I make money? What am I doing now? As I look ahead to the future, the insecurity keep harassing me. Thinking about future is basically good for me. But if I can’t enjoy my life because of those worries, it’s useless. I wish I could focus on the present. If I could concentrate every single moment without worries about the future, it would naturally lead me where I wanted to go.

Some folks say, life is a journey to find yourself. In fact, the journey won’t be done until I kick the bucket. It might sound grandiose, but it doesn’t. Every person, whether they’re aware of it or not, understands and comes closer to themselves in their daily lives. But it’s not easy to go right way, because finding myself often takes courage to accept who I am, which means I could lose that I have now. I really wish I could have the courage, so I could see myself correctly.

Even if there were a pill that could get rid of all of these worries and give me peace in mind, I wouldn’t take it. Honestly, I’m not sure, but I think I should not take it. Because I believe that if the journey is too easy to get to the end, I couldn’t find it any attractive. So even though these worries sometimes let me down, I will keep moving forward.

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